i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
how do flat chested girls get laid?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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