i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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