I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
how does that bad decision feel?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
