Only a mothe r could love this liver
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
