Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
