i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
