Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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