I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
