3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
