Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
