Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
