You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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