There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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