Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
