Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
