This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
