I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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