another moral hangover. fuck.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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