ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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