i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
