He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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