I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My liver just broke up with me...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Even my vagina gasped.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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