Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
