I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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