Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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