My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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