My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
