You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
