Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
