Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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