3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
