The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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