I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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