me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
