you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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