Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
