DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
