Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
