Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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