Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
