he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
