You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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