no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He did a backflip because drugs
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