a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
