my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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