You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
honey bunches of taint.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
