I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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