come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
