I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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