just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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