He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Less talking, more tequila
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
