I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
