Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
