You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
