Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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